Sooo, on New Year’s Eve, best bf and me I ruined one of my two remaining kitchen bowls by the way of the rogue wax – I swear, lead pouring* was somehow less destructive back when it involved real lead. Anyway. I decided to grab a new set on amazon, hoping it’d be the usual painless “ordered on Wednesday, received on Friday” kind of affair.

However, today, when I came back from work, this had happened:

Cool. I had a problem like this last year and the package never resurfaced. At least this time, it’s something I’m getting for myself instead of a goddamn birthday present. That was rather annoying 😐

By far my favourite part of this passive-aggressive little message is the bit at the end, where DHL is making sure to remind you that your shit is probably fucked and you have no means whatsoever to do anything about it.

This is also indicative of the very German sentiment of “You’re our customer and we depend on you because you make us money but we actually hate your guts and would rather not have to deal with you at all”. That or “It’s us who screwed up but we’ll make you feel bad about it because – you guessed it – we hate you”.

Guess I’ll wait for a few days to see what happens but right now, it looks like “Ordering New Bowls, The Unnecessary But Entirely Inevitable Sequel” will be on the agenda shortly.

* A little custom we Germans like to partake in on New Year’s Eve, whereby you pour molten wax (or lead, before we knew health was a thing) into a bowl of water and try to identify the shape it makes, divining your future for the coming year… either that or making a horrible mess and not finding the thing you made on the little solutions sheet that comes with the kit (Yes, I think that’s more what actually happens). The German word for is is “Bleigießen” – or “Wachsgießen” for the modern, hopefully less poisonous version.